Seventeen.

Blessed.

Have you ever just felt really blessed? Well, for me, these last two weeks have really been a blessing.

A job...at the most amazing place on earth, 1st Assembly, and my own car to get me there. Maybe for you that's not just the most exciting thing--work and a car that only takes you to work--but for me this is the beginning of a great adventure! ...Like a new chapter in my spiritual journey. I am so excited about the things I will learn and the things I will do in the next two years at the church.

Again, I say: Thank God for a church and pastors that truly care about me and my walk with Christ and my leadership experience. Praise God for parents that are constantly pushing me forward and encouraging me all the way. God is good. He is really, really good!

Also, pray that I pass these semester test coming up this week and next. They are going to be VERY hard, I know.

Sixteen.

What an eventful week....

I like to be busy, constantly on the go, but at a certain point I become tired and ready to just sit still or actually be home for a day.

May has been full and often double-stacked with occasions. Here's what my month looks like:

Monday, April 30 - Barbershop Festival at Cabot High after school
Tuesday, May 1 - Took pics for Prom Promise at school, rescheduled piano lesson at 5:30
Monday, May 7 - Stayed home sick
Tuesday, May 8 - rescheduled piano lesson at 6, theHouse Phone bank (which I forgot about)
Thursday, May 10 - Checked out to secretly take family pics for mom on Mother's Day, Arkansas Symphony practice for choir after school at Robinson Center, Youth Alive Praise Night (couldn't attend)
Friday, May 11 - ASO performance at Robinson (couldn't attend), Young Warriors (4th/5th Grade) Weekend
Saturday, May 12 - Still with church for YWW until 2, ASO performance at Robinson
Monday, May 14 - my piano gets tuned (by the person that tunes the church's piano, so I found out), pre-recital piano practice with other students at 4:30, sing National Anthem with "Fantastic 5" sophomore barbershop (Tenor 1...WOO WOO!) at school awards ceremony
Tuesday, May 15 - Piano Recital in Little Rock, P.J.'s "going away party" that I was invited to via Facebook by Madison
Wednesday, May 16 - Reality's Got Talent (my last human video to perform with the Reality Drama Team...after 5 years)
Thursday, May 16 - Choir Concert
Monday, May 21 - Senior Choir Banquet

Yeah...I know, "WOW!" I'm a student! I'm not supposed to do this much stuff am I? Anyway, I'm basically ready for a break! Summer is going to be so nice.... This is my schedule for the summer:

Monday, June 2 - The Deepening!
One day each week - work with Pastor Steve at the church (Which, don't forget, we need to talk about in the next 3 weeks, P.Steve....)
Every other day - listen to the quiet and watch the stillness at my house
Some week - Family Vacation

Isn't that beautiful? So peaceful! Can't wait!

Now that I see how this has very little to do with my "Spiritual Journey," I'll ask you to pray that my voice will recover from being sick last Monday and from the additional damage done on Wednesday night during worship, Thursday night at ASO rehearsal, Friday night at the YWW, and Saturday at the YWW and ASO performance. LOL! Thanks for reading my useless nonsense. It wasn't very spiritual, I know.

Have a great week! Hope yours isn't so busy!

Fifteen.

Have you ever just had that gut feeling that something big is about to happen? Like you can sense that good change or growth is near?

I'm so ready for the summer! The summer is always a great time for spiritual growth, considering that all school stress is out of the picture. There is 31 days until school's out, but I don't want to wait! I want to start getting deeper in God now!

This weekend I've been really desiring to be in God's presence. I have this great longing to get close to Him tomorrow at church, in the "corporate" worship setting. I sort of hear God whispering, "Come, now is the time for worship. You are welcome. Here I am. I'm waiting, Timothy. Give it a go! Now's the right time. I'll show you what My presence is! It's going to be great! I love you! Now, you love me."

It's times like that when I want to respond in worship. When I want to get deep in singing and rejoicing in the great things He has brought to my life. I say to God, "Here am I, all of me. I wanna go deeper. Pour out your spirit, oh God! I come to You for comfort and peace, Abba Father! Your grace is enough. In fact, it's overwhelming! Praise God! Hallelujah! You are good! I am not, but thank God, I know I AM! Rejoice in the Lord always because He cares enough to die for such a dirty sinner like me. Though You are big, You love me, no matter how small I am. I love you! I do love you, with all that is within me!"

Needless to say, I'm ready to redefine myself in God's presence, to find who I really am and where I'm really going and how I need to get there. Thank God that He's with me every step I take, guiding me and molding me into the passionate worshipper that He has called me to be.



The more I seek You,
The more I find You.
The more I find You,
The more I love You.

I wanna sit at Your feet,
Drink from the cup in Your hand,
Lay back against You and breathe,
Feel Your heart beat.

This love is so deep;
It's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace,
It's overwhelming.

Fourteen.

Frustration.

I hate it. I like to know what is going on ahead of time and to be absolutely sure about it happening the way it should.

Currently, I'm dealing with frustration. May 10th is a Thursday, the day I have piano lessons each week. This one happens to be the last one before my piano recital. Well, my choir teacher at school, Mrs. Harris, is apparently having some sort of after-school rehearsal that day for two performances which happen to be another one of my problems. These performances are Friday and Saturday, May 11th and 12th. Our choirs are singing with the Arkansas Symphony. ...Big deal and I'm excited about it, but as you may know, the Young Warriors Weekend is on that Friday, too. During the service I am in a human video and will be singing with the worship team. Well, these two events obviously conflict with each other, which brings frustration into my life. [Sigh....] I asked my choir teacher if it would be excused if I just missed the Friday night performance without losing a ton of points, on account of another event that is very important to me and that I'm already committed to being apart of. She said that it wouldn't be excused and that the only religious excuse for missing one of the performances is for this Jewish girl that isn't supposed to be out after sundown for some holiday or something on Friday. Then she told me to "see if I could get it worked out." [Another sigh....]

So I got home and told my mom that she said it wouldn't be excused and reminded her that for the past 5 years I've had straight A's in Vocal Music and that one B or C isn't going to make me cry or anything. She said she'd right a note explaining that to the teacher, so I was fine with that.... Until I told her about maybe not being able to go the Thursday after-school rehearsal because of piano lessons, which is the day before the Symphony thing.

Right now, I'm waiting for tomorrow to see what time the rehearsal will be over on the Thursday, so that if we're done by at least 5:30, I can switch lessons with Jonathan (we have the same teacher...I go at 5:30 to 6 on Thursdays and he goes from 6 to 7).

I hate not knowing things! Its like a kid waiting ever-so impatiently for his mom to get home so he can ask about spending the night with his best friend. The poor kid is just tired of not knowing; he's just ready to be able to call his friend and say, "YES! I can come over!"

{God, help me have peace and a calm spirit about all of this. I don't want to be a worry-wart (After all, who wants to be a wart? HA! [That was my comic relief portion of the post, in case you didn't notice.]). Let me find out what I need to find out and make the best decisions this week. Thank You for being with me in the fire, even if it is only a little-bitty fire.}

Pray that everything works out and that I can make it to the Thursday rehearsal, piano lessons, the Young Warriors Weekend, and the Arkansas Symphony performance on Saturday, which is a lot, I know.

Thirteen.

Over the past few months, I have really began to develop some meaningful relationships with certain people in my life. When I say that, friends like Brian Harte, Jonathan Pillow, Stephanie Ott, Jill Jacobs, Chris France, and John Rennard come to mind. I cherish these relationships.

I wonder, have you ever really thought about relationships? Have you taken the time to realize how important they are in the development of your character?

Just think about it.... God made a lot of people. And we have the opportunity to find the right people to share and combine strengths and build one another up and to walk together towards Christ everyday. Thank God for friends because without them I would be a helpless individual, stranded in the middle of loneliness, wondering how I'll ever give God what He deserves by myself.

Even Jesus had close friends. In fact, I bet if He was writing this blog he would've listed names like John, Matthew, Luke, Mark, Judah, Peter, and Paul. They stuck together and stood up for each other, gave each other a hand when needed, laughed together, prayed together, and ate together. That's friendship, isn't it? People who love each other enough to sit down and talk over a meal, or share a few laughs, or pray for each other.

That's what I love about hanging out with those friends. They spend time with me and make an effort to show me that they care about me. And all the way, they help me grow. These friends are the kind of people that don't talk behind my back or lie to me. You wonder how I know? Its because we share a thing called trust. And trust is great! To know that around these people I can be comfortable.

Thank you friends for investing your time and energy into my life! You make me feel safe when I'm around you. You make me feel loved and you grow me closer to Christ. Thanks! I cherish your friendships!