[Really, this blog has no purpose, other than the fact that I wanted to blog and this is what is on my mind. So, no spiritual lessons or questions - I'm just sharing my thoughts....]
Recently, balancing has been my issue. How to balance time, tasks, dreams, visions, realities, etc. It's pretty hard.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough; sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much. I ask God to fix it all - to help me get situated a little better and to get to the point where I grow more than I fall.
Currently, I've got a lot of things coming and going and staying and moving in my life.
I'm leading the most amazing, growing team of worshipers and musicians right now. I've never been so proud to be on a team. They are passionate about music, but more than that, they are passionate about creating experiences of worship for our students.
Things are constantly changing on our team. We're adding members, losing some, switching roles, some people are going wireless with their guitars, others want to, I want them to, but don't know if it's a priority or a fantasy because of costs, people are memorizing music and getting rid of their stands, people are moving, some are still working on that, some people are practicing everyday, some are practicing when they can, some don't need practice as much as others, some people are producing ideas, some are supporting ideas....
If you can imagine all that, and then that in a year I'm leaving for college. So for the person that's leading worship after me, I'd like to get things a little less confusing. I'm pretty sure that will never happen, but I'd like to say it's an okay goal. Or is it?
So I'm working through this stuff and it's hard, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. This is what I live for! I'm passionate about leading worship and I'm passionate about students connecting with God! I could stay where I am in life forever, but thank God that, with Him, it only gets better from here.
So the moral of the story is that I'm responsible for the large task of leading worship for our student ministry and it is hard sometimes, but with God's help I can do it and do it well! I look forward to seeing the things He will do with our team in the next year!
8.15.2008
8.04.2008
Twenty-Eight.
"I think for a minute about the story of the woman with the alabaster jar that poured it all out. And the religious people said, "It's too much. How could you waist this expensive fragrance in one moment? But I want to say to you tonight that if you're still measuring out your offerings, you haven't seen His worth."
God has been moving in me this week, really stirring things up in my heart.
I can't help but realize that I am a loser without God. Without God, I wouldn't be the person I am today. But it's come to the point that I've taken it all for granted. I expect certain things to happen for me and certain people to cheer for me, and I've began to expect that it doesn't matter how much I slip up or how rebellious I am or how little of a relationship I build with God, that these things will always happen for me.
I have recently realized that even though I may look great on the the outside and be a "Christian" doesn't mean that I am totally right with God and that I am following His plans for my life accordingly.
I've decided that it's time for this mediocre Christianity to stop. As for me, I will stop measuring out my offering--adding up the energy and the hours and the surface things about worship and life, and start paying more attention to who God is and what plan He has for me. I will spend time thanking God for His blessings and for the things that I so often take for granted, and spend time pouring it all out, connecting with God and growing in His Word, and discovering who I am and who I am going to be.
I know that with God, I will be something great. I know that with God's help, I will become a great worship pastor, who will inspire hundreds and thousands, perhaps, to worship God freely and expressively. Last night I prayed in the car on the way home:
God, I want to challenge kids to worship You more.
I want to challenge students to worship You more.
I want to challenge young adults to worship You more.
I want to challenge middle aged adults to worship You more.
I want to challenge keenagers to worship You more.
I want to challenge ninety-somethings to worship You more than before.
I want to inspire people to connect with the God of the Universe and show them that You love them with all Your heart.
I hope that you too, will join me in retiring mediocrity and getting desperate for what God has in store for us! We are His children, and He has a mighty plan for our lives.
God has been moving in me this week, really stirring things up in my heart.
I can't help but realize that I am a loser without God. Without God, I wouldn't be the person I am today. But it's come to the point that I've taken it all for granted. I expect certain things to happen for me and certain people to cheer for me, and I've began to expect that it doesn't matter how much I slip up or how rebellious I am or how little of a relationship I build with God, that these things will always happen for me.
I have recently realized that even though I may look great on the the outside and be a "Christian" doesn't mean that I am totally right with God and that I am following His plans for my life accordingly.
I've decided that it's time for this mediocre Christianity to stop. As for me, I will stop measuring out my offering--adding up the energy and the hours and the surface things about worship and life, and start paying more attention to who God is and what plan He has for me. I will spend time thanking God for His blessings and for the things that I so often take for granted, and spend time pouring it all out, connecting with God and growing in His Word, and discovering who I am and who I am going to be.
I know that with God, I will be something great. I know that with God's help, I will become a great worship pastor, who will inspire hundreds and thousands, perhaps, to worship God freely and expressively. Last night I prayed in the car on the way home:
God, I want to challenge kids to worship You more.
I want to challenge students to worship You more.
I want to challenge young adults to worship You more.
I want to challenge middle aged adults to worship You more.
I want to challenge keenagers to worship You more.
I want to challenge ninety-somethings to worship You more than before.
I want to inspire people to connect with the God of the Universe and show them that You love them with all Your heart.
I hope that you too, will join me in retiring mediocrity and getting desperate for what God has in store for us! We are His children, and He has a mighty plan for our lives.
7.31.2008
Twenty-Seven.
My prayer the same as David's today:
1 In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
2 Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of evil and cruel men.
5 For you have been my hope,
O Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
6 From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
7 I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8 My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.
14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.
22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you--
I, whom you have redeemed.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.
[Psalm 71 - NIV]
1 In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
2 Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of evil and cruel men.
5 For you have been my hope,
O Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
6 From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
7 I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8 My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.
14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.
22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you--
I, whom you have redeemed.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.
[Psalm 71 - NIV]
7.12.2008
Twenty-Six.
I wonder - does everyone struggle to be consistently genuine?
So many times I notice myself show a different personality around certain people or reserve a part of my true personality around other people, afraid that if they knew who I really was, they wouldn't like me or would look at me differently.
I really want to become a genuine person and lose the masks.
I want to be a passionate follower of Christ who loves people and to see them grow in Christ and be involved in passionate worship experiences. I want to well-represent God and the people I'm teamed up with in life, presenting a constantly growing leader who, sure, has his struggles, but never gives up and never looks back.
I want to be that, and that all the time - whether I'm in my office (still sounds weird to say), or on stage, or at school, or at home (that's a hard one), or anywhere else. I want to be real everywhere I go.
That is my personal challenge from here on out. I will be consistently me.
So many times I notice myself show a different personality around certain people or reserve a part of my true personality around other people, afraid that if they knew who I really was, they wouldn't like me or would look at me differently.
I really want to become a genuine person and lose the masks.
I want to be a passionate follower of Christ who loves people and to see them grow in Christ and be involved in passionate worship experiences. I want to well-represent God and the people I'm teamed up with in life, presenting a constantly growing leader who, sure, has his struggles, but never gives up and never looks back.
I want to be that, and that all the time - whether I'm in my office (still sounds weird to say), or on stage, or at school, or at home (that's a hard one), or anywhere else. I want to be real everywhere I go.
That is my personal challenge from here on out. I will be consistently me.
7.07.2008
Twenty-Five.
"This very day God has given you victory over Sisera. Isn't God marching before you?" -Judges 4:14
Wow. What a question - "Isn't God marching before You?" It seems like it should be typed in italics because of its sort of sarcastic tone, right?
Deborah from Judges might as well have said, "Of course you were victorious - God was in-charge!"
God knows what You are about to face and how difficult the issue may be, so He made a plan. And all You have to do is ask Him to take over and use His plan to take care of your situation.
So many times, we struggle to part with our own ideas and with our own plans, but if we could only compare the results of following our plans and the results of following God's, we'd see that God's plan is always better. I could see how this may be difficult, though, in that God's plans don't always seem like they'll will be better until the very end.
And that is where trust comes in. Trust is hard sometimes, but if we will trust in God, He'll never let us down...even if it seems like His plan isn't going to work at the moment. He will always come through.
God is smarter than you because He made you and mapped out your life a long time ago. So don't worry so much, and trust in God. His plan is better than yours and always will be.
And when you finally see God's awesome results--victory--thank Him for marching before you!
Wow. What a question - "Isn't God marching before You?" It seems like it should be typed in italics because of its sort of sarcastic tone, right?
Deborah from Judges might as well have said, "Of course you were victorious - God was in-charge!"
God knows what You are about to face and how difficult the issue may be, so He made a plan. And all You have to do is ask Him to take over and use His plan to take care of your situation.
So many times, we struggle to part with our own ideas and with our own plans, but if we could only compare the results of following our plans and the results of following God's, we'd see that God's plan is always better. I could see how this may be difficult, though, in that God's plans don't always seem like they'll will be better until the very end.
And that is where trust comes in. Trust is hard sometimes, but if we will trust in God, He'll never let us down...even if it seems like His plan isn't going to work at the moment. He will always come through.
God is smarter than you because He made you and mapped out your life a long time ago. So don't worry so much, and trust in God. His plan is better than yours and always will be.
And when you finally see God's awesome results--victory--thank Him for marching before you!
6.20.2008
Twenty-Four.
My prayer Thursday afternoon:
God, thank You for putting me in the place I am. I couldn't imagine being anywhere or doing anything else. Thank You for a group of passionate students that I get to meet up with twice a week and make cool music with. But God, thank You even more than that for making us realize that it's not about the cool music, but that we can use our skill and passion to create energetic and inviting moments of worship each week. Thank You for not sitting back each week and just soaking up our song, but for stirring up our hearts and filling the room with Your presence. You are good! I want You, and I need You. I am desperate for Your touch. Come into my heart and give me peace and joy. That's all I ask and nothing more. I don't care what this relationship can get me now, but I only care that I have You. I sincerely welcome You into my heart, that I can lead people where I've been and where I am--with You...where love is never-ending. Thanks, God!
Open Up the Sky -Jonathan Stockstill
Our beloved Father
Please come down and meet us
We are waiting for Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You
Our beloved Jesus
We just want to see You in the glory of Your light
Earthly things don't matter
They just fade and shatter
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You
Here we go, let's go to the Throne
The place that we belong, right into His arms
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You
God, thank You for putting me in the place I am. I couldn't imagine being anywhere or doing anything else. Thank You for a group of passionate students that I get to meet up with twice a week and make cool music with. But God, thank You even more than that for making us realize that it's not about the cool music, but that we can use our skill and passion to create energetic and inviting moments of worship each week. Thank You for not sitting back each week and just soaking up our song, but for stirring up our hearts and filling the room with Your presence. You are good! I want You, and I need You. I am desperate for Your touch. Come into my heart and give me peace and joy. That's all I ask and nothing more. I don't care what this relationship can get me now, but I only care that I have You. I sincerely welcome You into my heart, that I can lead people where I've been and where I am--with You...where love is never-ending. Thanks, God!
Open Up the Sky -Jonathan Stockstill
Our beloved Father
Please come down and meet us
We are waiting for Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You
Our beloved Jesus
We just want to see You in the glory of Your light
Earthly things don't matter
They just fade and shatter
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You
Here we go, let's go to the Throne
The place that we belong, right into His arms
We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all
Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You
5.24.2008
Twenty-Three.
Well...here it is...another blog.
I know, right? It's been forever.
So, I've nearly completed my Junior year. Praise the Lord! I'm so ready for the summer. Cutting out the whole school part of life is a definite blessing. Too bad it's only short-term.
I find it funny that while most students are excited to get out of school for more leisure time and to sleep in, when I think about getting out of school I immediately get excited about more time to be at the church and to spend with the pastors and staff there. I could understand if someone told me that I was obsessed or something, but in all reality I'm just always anxious to learn more and I've come to realize that you can always learn something at First Assembly.
So, look out folks because I come with loads of enthusiasm!
Also, be looking forward to some more blogs this summer (I just remembered the thrill of writing long, grammatically proper, yet light-hearted sentences).
Here we go!
I know, right? It's been forever.
So, I've nearly completed my Junior year. Praise the Lord! I'm so ready for the summer. Cutting out the whole school part of life is a definite blessing. Too bad it's only short-term.
I find it funny that while most students are excited to get out of school for more leisure time and to sleep in, when I think about getting out of school I immediately get excited about more time to be at the church and to spend with the pastors and staff there. I could understand if someone told me that I was obsessed or something, but in all reality I'm just always anxious to learn more and I've come to realize that you can always learn something at First Assembly.
So, look out folks because I come with loads of enthusiasm!
Also, be looking forward to some more blogs this summer (I just remembered the thrill of writing long, grammatically proper, yet light-hearted sentences).
Here we go!
1.05.2008
Twenty-two.
I'm not going back; I'm moving ahead
I'm here to declare to You: my past is over
In You, old things are made new
I surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward
These words have begin to sink in and settle in my heart and I've decided this:
What's been done before and the things of the past, of last year, or last week, or a few minutes ago--those things that didn't work out, held me back, or didn't move me or push me towards excellence as a Christ-follower--those things don't matter now. I have new visions and dreams and new goals to set, creating new choices to make. It's a new day, and I'm going to rejoice and be glad in it and that God gave me a second chance when he sacrificed His Son 2,ooo years ago.
When I dwell in the past, I've decided to repeat the same trip I've taken before. What I found at the end of the road yesterday, I'm going to find the same today. I need to pick a new route, in order to see new results. Pastor Ben said this recently: "You can't keep doing the same old things and expect different results." That's so true.
And when he said that, I decided that I needed to grow and progress. I can't expect for new things to arise and keep doing the same old stuff over and over. I need to change in order for things to change. Mike tells me often that you can't lead people where you haven't already been. So if I want the students in Reality to grow as worshippers and to become more passionate, I have to do that. If I want them to seek God, I need to.
So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to set out on a new and improved spiritual journey to seek God in all things and to dig into His Word and listen for His guidance. God has plans for me and sometimes I think I miss them because I simply become too lazy to listen or too lazy to ask Him what to do.
This year, I plan to wake up a whoppin' 15 minutes earlier so that I can talk to God and listen to what He has in store for me. And since it is so difficult for me to wake up early, I need to work myself into going to bed earlier. Please pray that I can do these things in order to grow closer to God, who longs to build a relationship with me.
As for me--I'm moving forward!
I'm here to declare to You: my past is over
In You, old things are made new
I surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving, moving forward
These words have begin to sink in and settle in my heart and I've decided this:
What's been done before and the things of the past, of last year, or last week, or a few minutes ago--those things that didn't work out, held me back, or didn't move me or push me towards excellence as a Christ-follower--those things don't matter now. I have new visions and dreams and new goals to set, creating new choices to make. It's a new day, and I'm going to rejoice and be glad in it and that God gave me a second chance when he sacrificed His Son 2,ooo years ago.
When I dwell in the past, I've decided to repeat the same trip I've taken before. What I found at the end of the road yesterday, I'm going to find the same today. I need to pick a new route, in order to see new results. Pastor Ben said this recently: "You can't keep doing the same old things and expect different results." That's so true.
And when he said that, I decided that I needed to grow and progress. I can't expect for new things to arise and keep doing the same old stuff over and over. I need to change in order for things to change. Mike tells me often that you can't lead people where you haven't already been. So if I want the students in Reality to grow as worshippers and to become more passionate, I have to do that. If I want them to seek God, I need to.
So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to set out on a new and improved spiritual journey to seek God in all things and to dig into His Word and listen for His guidance. God has plans for me and sometimes I think I miss them because I simply become too lazy to listen or too lazy to ask Him what to do.
This year, I plan to wake up a whoppin' 15 minutes earlier so that I can talk to God and listen to what He has in store for me. And since it is so difficult for me to wake up early, I need to work myself into going to bed earlier. Please pray that I can do these things in order to grow closer to God, who longs to build a relationship with me.
As for me--I'm moving forward!
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