42. Committed, Not Comfortable.

Been a while since I've posted. But here I am, and hopefully here you are too.

Do Not Worry (Matthew 6:25-34):

A few days ago I was catching up on some posts by Steve Flores and while responding to his post "Ask, Seek, Knock," I thought of one of the last verses of this passage of scripture (Matthew 6:33), and this is how I responded:

"I'm beginning to realize that Jesus isn't nearly as interested in our earthly concerns so much as he is with our Kingdom concerns. I think our flesh gets in the way of our Bible-reading sometimes and we force Jesus to tell us how he will make our lives super pleasurable and that, if we trust in him, nothing bad will ever happen to us and we'll be free from the troubles of this world. We kinda corner Jesus in to our narrow-minded, self-absorption. The truth of the matter is, though, that Jesus says focus on the Kingdom because what happens with the Kingdom is much more important than what happens with our ideal, planned-out lives. Jesus is saying that if we seek after him, there's a greater reward than pleasure in our lives. I think when he says, 'Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be given to you,' he's saying, 'focus on the Kingdom (not yourself), and more than you can plan or grasp or conjure up in your earth-mind will be given to you - a greater reward.' [my paraphrase] He's saying let me out of this corner you've backed me into so I can show you what's up!"

Then today in my Bible as Lit. class we talked about the story of the woman at the well in John 4 and I especially liked the next scene when disciples rejoined Jesus. Here's what went down:

The disciples told Jesus he should eat (he'd been on the road for a while; nice guys, those disciples). Jesus said, profoundly, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about." Then the disciples (clearly not the most fluent guys in spiritual metaphors) asked each other if someone else might have given him some food when they weren't paying attention. Dumb. Jesus replies to their oblivion by saying, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work. Don't you have a saying, 'It's still four months until harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. ..."

I love this. Jesus is saying that there's more to life than little "needs." Our "essentials" are probably not the same as God's essentials. Jesus is telling us to wake up and realize that he has food that we are oblivious to - Kingdom food. God wants us to seek Him whole-heartedly, abandoning concern for our personal needs in our own lives. When we do that, I believe Jesus is saying that, then, we will be satisfied; not necessarily with pleasant lives (food, clothes, shelter, and riches), but perhaps. I'm just not willing to say that a missionary that's suffered and lived in the slums of the world, is not receiving a picture-perfect life because they weren't seeking the Kingdom. In fact, that's exactly what they are doing to get themselves into such a messy situation. God is calling us to get ourselves into messy, dysfunctional, uncomfortable places, because living out salvation is hard and requires that kind of stuff. God wants us to be committed, not comfortable. And isn't that what we want from our followers?

I leave you just like that.... Tell me what you think (leave a comment - it's super easy).

41. Baaah....

Today, I will take a little break and hash out the passage we discussed at theWeekend retreat with theHouse this weekend. It was pretty challenging.

The Story of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:4-7):

The story goes that Jesus was responding to the religious big shots' bickering about him loving the lost and hanging out with sinners. He didn't answer their bickering directly (as he hardly ever does - he's pretty good at knowing the real answer and the real miracle we need, despite our clueless questions and requests), but he simply asked a deeper question that, not only challenged the pharisees and religious scholars, but it challenged me to be more intentional in going after the lost and being more pumped up about it when they are finally found.

Jesus says, "Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn't you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, 'Celebrate with me! I've found my lost sheep!' Count on it—there's more joy in heaven over one sinner's rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue."

At the retreat, we took a moment to sit with God and this passage on Saturday morning, and I really feel like God highlighted a part of this passage like so:

"Wouldn't you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors...."

I'm not sure exactly what this entails practically, but I'm pretty sure God was saying, if you want to make a difference - if you want to reach the lost, you have to get out of your comfortable circle, your scheduled events in your planned atmosphere, and go out to them. Lost people don't just show up out of nowhere. If you lose something, it's not going come over to you and say, "Here I am!" No, it's lost. You have to go out of your way to find it. It's inconvenient and sometimes very frustrating, but you know as well as I do, and like Christ said Heaven does, when the lost is found, there's a party!

I want to brace myself for the going after so that I can have a reason to celebrate in the end!

40. You Give Love a Bad Name

I read this two days in a row, yesterday in the NIV and today in the NIV and the Message. It's strong, so brace yourself for a challenge from Christ.

An Eye for an Eye / Love for Enemies (Matthew 5:38-48):

This is how the Message puts it:

Love Your Enemies

^38-42"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

^43-47"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

⁴⁸"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

Basically, Jesus is telling us to get with the program - it's time to act like we're in the Kingdom business. If God loves everybody, regardless of their sins, attitudes, and personalities (because He wants to, not because He has to), then Jesus says we should too. Christ commanded generosity, even to those that slam us, take advantage of us, and rip us off. Sounds a lot like what Jesus did that time when he died for all of our sins.

Today, I am challenged to get off of the stage I've built for myself in this world, making me better and more deserving of love than others, and get into the Kingdom mindset that God has set up of loving the unlovable and even blessing the undeserving. After all, I was the unlovable, undeserving person once, and because Jesus paid my fees and gifted me love, I choose not to take his command to follow up and dish out love lightly anymore.

Jesus, you get me every time....

39. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

[Yes, 4 years ago on January 12, 2007, I began my blogging journey with a post titled "One." and as I committed, since then I have spelled out the numbers followed by a period in order for each post with the same consistent format thirty-eight posts in a row. Yes, I am aware that breaking this tradition may hurt all 2 of you readers' feelings, but in an effort to be a little more creative and sort of "spice up" my blogging, here's to a new titling format.] [The previous statement was extremely sarcastic; however, it has struck a very sentimental chord in the light of my blogging journey. Please do not go back and read my first blogs in an effort to join my reminiscing though - they're very corny. :)]

Oaths (Matthew 5:33-37):

How many times have we framed our unwillingness, laziness, or lack of interest with an excuse like "I forgot" or "Something came up" or "Oh, I just have gotten to it yet" or, more bluntly put, "I know I should've, but I just didn't - my bad."

Or how about when someone shares their totally legitimate, from-the-heart burden and we say, seemingly with compassion, "Oh, brother, I'll pray for you," or "Yes, I've been praying for you and your situation," only to have just prayed something once or twice as half-hearted as, "God, help So-and-So in their situation," or "Be with them, Lord. Show them comfort and peace. Amen." I'm not saying that those prayers aren't viable and heard/accepted by God, but I wonder if that's what intercession really is. I wonder if that's the committed prayer and burden-carrying So-and-So thinks he's getting.

Let's face it, if we don't get direct personal benefits, we're not really willing to go all out. But because we're good Christian people, we like to appear humble and holy and willing commit to a half a dozen things and causes we don't really care for as much as we say we do and know we should.

Why do we excuse this untruth? Why do we commit to things, sometimes, while in the same thought that declares the commitment, we accept that we won't fulfill the commitment or we place it on the bottom of our priority list?

Who said that excuses actually excuse us from keeping our word? Yeah, there's forgiveness for lying or being dishonest or not following up (however you choose to frame it), but it's so easy to accept the cycle of committing, not following through, making an excuse, saying sorry, and accepting the forgiveness...rinse, repeat.

What makes it worse is when we make promises to God or "in Jesus' name" and then we think those promises are just as easy to smear forgiveness over and move on.

Jesus had had enough with this. He said in Matthew 5: Stop swearing on God, quit swearing on the world, and start making your "yes" mean yes and your "no" mean no; don't be fake - when you say you'll do it, do it like it really matters, because it does really matter. If your "yes" isn't yes and your "no" isn't no, what you're doing is evil. [The latter a paraphrase, obviously.]

So I leave this to ponder: Am I fake in my commitments, trying to pull folks' legs to look holier-than-thou? Have I accepted the cycle? How much am I willing to change? Or am I even willing to up the ante at all?

Jesus is tough on his followers.... He's called us to more than we think! :)

Thirty-Eight.

I'm back-tracking to Tuesday's passage. It was so good that I wanted to blog my thoughts about it. That, and today's passage is gonna need a little more digesting....

The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-12):

Blessed are the humbled, the broken, the righteousness-seekers, the peacemakers....

However, blessed, more strongly-put by Jesus, are the persecuted.

Some questions I asked myself:

Why do our habits and patterns out-weigh our passion and willingness to be persecuted?

Why is comfort so convenient?

Why do we think normal followers of Christ get to have comfort and easy-going lives?

Why have we settled for less than God has called us to?

Why do we think being persecuted is being looked down on or being frowned upon?

Why do we think being persecuted is missing a party or a few fun times?

It's not that. It's more.

Persecution hurts.

Sadly, I can't say it hurts me to be a Christian right now. Not in America. Not with all the stuff and the support and the convenient circumstances. I don't hurt like Jesus called me to.

Jesus hurt. He knew how big the cause was and he knew the price.

I think we've gotten too afraid to even hear the cost, much less pay up.

What will it take for me to throw everything I have and want out of the window and truly surrender to the cause of Christ - whatever the cost, however severe the persecution?

After all, "blessed are those who are persecuted."

Thirty-Seven.

Here's to my reading in Matthew - specifically seeking to be more like Jesus by finding out who he was and what he did and who he is and what he wants to do in and through me:

Salt & Light (Matthew 5:13-16)

God has called us to do more than just sit here and do nothing.

Christ said we're a light.

-Light is important.

-We need light to see

-to see clearly.

He wants us to show people the way.

We can't show people the way if we don't know the way.

We can't be a light unless we have the light.

God, turn on the light.

I want the light.

I have...I am the light.

Thirty-Six.

These past few months, God has been doing something inside of me. Not sure how to explain it or capture into a few words, and I'm not sure even if I know what He's doing really.

Nonetheless, I've become extremely hungry for God. I crave holiness. I want to be so close and intimate with Jesus. I want to know Him inside and out, and as a result I want to be like Him, doing whatever he says to do - total surrender.

You might say I'm just going through a phase and that if I just worship a little more or read my Bible and pray, that soon enough I'll be content like every one else - that it's natural for Christians to become more hungry on occasion. I assure you, this isn't the case this time. I honestly believe that in a time of significant changes, pressures, and uncertainty, God is shifting a few gears in my heart and teaching me a few lessons about dependence upon Him.

With what I believe were some divine moments and conversations and a series of obvious changes in my life in transition to moving to Dallas, I feel like things in my heart are getting stirred up in the most thought-provoking, focus-shifting, and lifestyle-altering way. I think in a time of drastic change I've realized, more-so than ever, that I'm absolutely useless without God.

Without God, I have no direction.

Without God, I have no future.

Without God, I have no peace.

Without God, I have no rest.

Without God, I have nothing but myself. And that just won't cut it.

Talking with Pastor Steve at lunch a few weeks ago, realizing how incredible his devotion to following Christ and commitment to sharing His love is, and also sitting through some incredible discussions/teaching in the staff meetings at the church in the past month or so, I've began to realize how radical Jesus wants us to be and how far out on the limb he wants us to step - how tight He wants us to cling to Him for security and how close he wants us to stay by His side, following His direction.

As a result of some very cool encounters in God's presence and some challenging changes, this has been my prayer:

It doesn't matter what I want, where I want to go, what I want to do. It's what You want me to do. Let Your will be done in my life, God. You take the control seat; You tell me where we're going and I'll go with You. I don't want You to follow me in my hopeless sense of direction, but, instead, I want to follow You. You know the plans for my life. You have plans for me to prosper.

God, don't let my nature of seeking comfort and blessing be in the way of Your plans. I don't want to be whiny and so self-concerned in my prayer and attitude towards life, complaining that life is too hard and begging You to make it all easier for me. I know Your plan might lead me through a lot of pain, sacrifice, and confusion, but today I decide to trust You again. Your entire life on earth was based upon sacrifice and discomfort so that I could live to worship You eternally. I sacrifice my desires and my peace to a God who knows sacrifice like none other. You chose to give Your life to a completely unworthy people, and what have we done to pay You back. I owe You, God. I owe You my life.

Here I am, God. Do what you want with me. I'll go where you want me to. I'll do what You want me to do. I'll sacrifice my comfort for Your will. I'll surrender my heart so You can make it like Yours - clean, holy, compassionate. I lay my life at Your feet, pleading: God, though I'm not worth it, please use me. I'm Yours.

Thirty-Five.

I just came off stage from some super-passionate worship. Not that I doubt God's effect on lives in previous services, or think His presence was more available tonight, but I think that tonight our students hearts seemed to be more open and ready to receive the God's spirit.

Here's the set list: (*not the formula for worship success)

Love Enough

I Believe

I Stand Amazed (How Marvelous)

Where the Love Lasts Forever

From the very first song, they were jammin' with energy and passion. Nothing makes a worship leader feel less like a crazy lunatic than when the congregation joins them in clapping and jumping and singing and shouting out in the presence of God. (*Not that those expressions are the formula for worship success.)

My tendency is to pray that we can have that every week, but I realize that we shouldn't ever settle where we are as worshipers. So, I will pray that we can have more passionate services and that God will move us further in our quest to connect with Him and know Him in an intimate way.

I look forward to loving God with some students at First NLR and can't wait to share with them the fun of being crazy for Christ!

Thirty-Four.

Today I was worried about a math test that I didn't study for last night. The whole way to school morning, I prayed and worried altogether - which isn't good at all:

^{James 5-8}If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

So, I was a wind-whipped wave today. But I stopped whipping those waves and started trusting in God when I got my test and 40 minutes later, I was confident I did good on the test.

I walked out of the class and tweeted:

Timothy_Hill

- God always shows up right on time. Why do we worry so much in life?

Soon after, Pastor Steve said this in response to my tweet:

steverayflores

@Timothy_Hill God showing up is such an interesting concept. He always there, we just never see it. We show up to see God.

Wow. What an awesome thing to try and wrap your mind around. It's hard to fathom, but God is already there. He's waiting on us. We look like idiots when we wait on God to show up. He knows what's gonna happen. He's got all the outcomes figured out. His spirit is already settled and He is already at peace with the future. It's when we finally stop worrying and fretting over stuff that we come to realize that He's already taken care of everything. He's waiting for us to quit our whining and worrying and catch up with Him in knowing that He's got it all together - He's too perfect to mess things up.

And hey, if it looks messed up to us - when the outcome looks lousy - we should probably realize that its usually us that's not all right. God's plan is flawless, so we have to learn to trust it and follow it no matter what we think about it.

So if I could re-tweet, it would say:

Timothy_Hill

- I always show up late to realizing God's got my back. Why do we worry so much in life?

Don't be wind-whipped.

Thirty-Three.

A lesson learned on the Reality Worship Team a few moments ago in practice:

I can usually sense when the team isn't "all there" or when they aren't playing/singing with excellence. I know that means that's something's not right today; something's not clicking. God isn't at the top, because stress has pushed Him down to the bottom. God needs to be at the top. Sometimes when the team is stressed or distracted by heavy stuff in our lives, it's best to stop practicing for worship, and start worshiping. Even worship leaders forget to worship sometimes when we need to the most.

There's something about God's presence and His unfailing peace. When things are pulling at us and stressing us out during the week, we have to stop what we're doing, wherever we are, and worship God. We must put down our problems and lift up our hands. We must abandon our prideful attempts to solve and run to the ultimate fixer of things.

God isn't an idiot - He knows when stuff is messed up in your life. He is just waiting on the magic words - "God, help me." We sing the song, "Whisper His name and He will answer you," but we kind of dismiss its simple truth - all we have to do is whisper His name (just say "Jesus"), and He comes running to you, ready to fix stuff.

So are you stressed?

Stop what you're doing, wherever you are.

Worship.

God will come and answer you.

Worship.

Thirty-Two.

The hardest challenge with consistency is starting to be consistent. Not real profound, I know. But isn’t it true that the hardest person to motivate is yourself sometimes?

You’ve been down that road - a struggle to start a daily God-time, a diet or excersise plan, an attitude change, a healthy relationship, a ministry effort, a journey with Christ…. What is it that you want so badly but won’t let yourself have for one reason or another? What is that reason? Is it laziness? Is it money? Is it time? Is it the lack of desire to give up something else, like comfort, old friends, your past, your free-will, or in the case of Christianity, the big whammy - your whole life?

These are tough questions, but the truth is, starting something new is tough, and especially when it is good for you. We usually don’t have a problem starting bad habits again. It comes naturally for me to bite my nails, or speed on the way to church (on the way to church, for crying out loud!), or saying something rude, sarcastic, or belittling to someone else. On the other hand, when the cause is greater than self-satisfaction, a battle kicks off inside of me - a battle between my heart and my will.

My heart says, “God wants you to make time for Him,” “You’re not going to live as long and your ministry isn’t going to be as effective if you don’t stop pigging out at every meal,” “If you want them to followers of Christ, sarcasm won’t cut it,” “You can’t lead someone to where you haven’t been before - get in God’s presence,” or ”Don’t do it again - you’ve already asked for forgiveness for this sin a billion times!”

But what does my will say? Well, it doesn’t really say much. It fumbles over its words just enough to convince me that its excuse alternative is more of a priority right now than what Mr. Heart says.

I know that when you’ve got Christ in your heart, that He’s the one telling Mr. Heart what to say. God is beckoning your spirit to do what is right. Listen to Him. And do it. Just do it.

Then - don’t stop. Don’t be the loser we’ve all been a million times because of our lack of consistency. Be a finisher. Get started and don’t stop. Get God’s help because, trust me, you’re gonna need it to start with and you’re gonna need it to stick with it. He’s not looking down saying, “Boy, I hope he can figure this one out!” I can imagine He’s saying, “Dude - hello? Remember the God that made you, the One that healed you last time you were sick, the One that did you the ultimate favor? I know how to help! Remember about how I walked the earth and struggled with this stuff too? Just ask for my help and I’ll help you. I want you to do good. I know you can. Just make the decision and we can do this!”

My challenge to you is to start that thing you want to start so badly but never have actually started. And then keep it up! Don’t be a quitter! Quitters never win!

Thirty-One.

These next few months will hold some very bittersweet moments for me.

I have been working on scholarship applications and essays these past two days, and I, at moments, I am so excited to become a college student in September.  However, at other moments, I am thoroughly depressed about leaving high school, my home, and epecially about leaving Reality.

I have done a lot of growing during my time in Reality, and I thank God for people like Pastor Steve, Pastor Patrick, Pastor John Van Pay, Mrs. Kathy, Mike Winslow, and Pastor David and Sharon Barnes, who have invested so much time in my life and in my spiritual growth.

I also would like to publicly thank Pastor Rod, who has blessed me beyond words.  Thanks, P.Rod, for total support and for being that strong push in the right direction.  You mean so much to me and it is a huge honor to be close to you and to be able to serve you!

With moving forward in life, comes some looking back and some evaluation, in order to make the moving forward a little more smooth and successful.  These are the days of looking back, and the moments of evaluation.  These next 4 years will be an incredible growth spurt for me, and I can't wait to see how God is going to use me!

Thirty.

I haven't blogged in a really long time.  But I know it it something I want to do regularly.

I apologize for neglecting my journaling.  Sometimes we neglect the most important things in our life.  Why?  I'm not sure.

I have neglected some things in my life for too long, and now I publicly commit to stepping up my game.  

I will have a consistent quiet time because you can't lead someone where you haven't been yourself.  

I will balance my checkbook weekly because once every 2 months is clearly not enough.  

I will blog weekly because I want to be as cool as BooMama and Big Mama (comic relief).  

I will create and follow a schedule for each day of work at the church because too many times have I forgotten to do something important or procrastinated with something that requires more time than the "last minute."

I will.  I'm setting high standards, but as a leader, these are things that should've never been neglected in the first place.  I will not do that again.  

Oh, and one more "will."  I will brush my teeth everyday now.

Just kidding, that's something I've been doing for years.  I really try to avoid halitosis at all cost.

In the words of the Reality Exit loop on the side screens, "Y'all come back, ya hear!?"  (Clever idea.)

Twenty-Nine.

[Really, this blog has no purpose, other than the fact that I wanted to blog and this is what is on my mind. So, no spiritual lessons or questions - I'm just sharing my thoughts....]

Recently, balancing has been my issue. How to balance time, tasks, dreams, visions, realities, etc. It's pretty hard.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough; sometimes I feel like I'm doing too much. I ask God to fix it all - to help me get situated a little better and to get to the point where I grow more than I fall.

Currently, I've got a lot of things coming and going and staying and moving in my life.

I'm leading the most amazing, growing team of worshipers and musicians right now. I've never been so proud to be on a team. They are passionate about music, but more than that, they are passionate about creating experiences of worship for our students.

Things are constantly changing on our team. We're adding members, losing some, switching roles, some people are going wireless with their guitars, others want to, I want them to, but don't know if it's a priority or a fantasy because of costs, people are memorizing music and getting rid of their stands, people are moving, some are still working on that, some people are practicing everyday, some are practicing when they can, some don't need practice as much as others, some people are producing ideas, some are supporting ideas....

If you can imagine all that, and then that in a year I'm leaving for college. So for the person that's leading worship after me, I'd like to get things a little less confusing. I'm pretty sure that will never happen, but I'd like to say it's an okay goal. Or is it?

So I'm working through this stuff and it's hard, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. This is what I live for! I'm passionate about leading worship and I'm passionate about students connecting with God! I could stay where I am in life forever, but thank God that, with Him, it only gets better from here.

So the moral of the story is that I'm responsible for the large task of leading worship for our student ministry and it is hard sometimes, but with God's help I can do it and do it well! I look forward to seeing the things He will do with our team in the next year!

Twenty-Eight.

"I think for a minute about the story of the woman with the alabaster jar that poured it all out. And the religious people said, "It's too much. How could you waist this expensive fragrance in one moment? But I want to say to you tonight that if you're still measuring out your offerings, you haven't seen His worth."

God has been moving in me this week, really stirring things up in my heart.

I can't help but realize that I am a loser without God. Without God, I wouldn't be the person I am today. But it's come to the point that I've taken it all for granted. I expect certain things to happen for me and certain people to cheer for me, and I've began to expect that it doesn't matter how much I slip up or how rebellious I am or how little of a relationship I build with God, that these things will always happen for me.

I have recently realized that even though I may look great on the the outside and be a "Christian" doesn't mean that I am totally right with God and that I am following His plans for my life accordingly.

I've decided that it's time for this mediocre Christianity to stop. As for me, I will stop measuring out my offering--adding up the energy and the hours and the surface things about worship and life, and start paying more attention to who God is and what plan He has for me. I will spend time thanking God for His blessings and for the things that I so often take for granted, and spend time pouring it all out, connecting with God and growing in His Word, and discovering who I am and who I am going to be.

I know that with God, I will be something great. I know that with God's help, I will become a great worship pastor, who will inspire hundreds and thousands, perhaps, to worship God freely and expressively. Last night I prayed in the car on the way home:
God, I want to challenge kids to worship You more.
I want to challenge students to worship You more.
I want to challenge young adults to worship You more.
I want to challenge middle aged adults to worship You more.
I want to challenge keenagers to worship You more.
I want to challenge ninety-somethings to worship You more than before.
I want to inspire people to connect with the God of the Universe and show them that You love them with all Your heart.

I hope that you too, will join me in retiring mediocrity and getting desperate for what God has in store for us! We are His children, and He has a mighty plan for our lives.

Twenty-Seven.

My prayer the same as David's today:

1 In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
2 Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of evil and cruel men.
5 For you have been my hope,
O Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
6 From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
7 I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8 My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.

14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you--
I, whom you have redeemed.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.
[Psalm 71 - NIV]

Twenty-Six.

I wonder - does everyone struggle to be consistently genuine?

So many times I notice myself show a different personality around certain people or reserve a part of my true personality around other people, afraid that if they knew who I really was, they wouldn't like me or would look at me differently.

I really want to become a genuine person and lose the masks.

I want to be a passionate follower of Christ who loves people and to see them grow in Christ and be involved in passionate worship experiences. I want to well-represent God and the people I'm teamed up with in life, presenting a constantly growing leader who, sure, has his struggles, but never gives up and never looks back.

I want to be that, and that all the time - whether I'm in my office (still sounds weird to say), or on stage, or at school, or at home (that's a hard one), or anywhere else. I want to be real everywhere I go.

That is my personal challenge from here on out. I will be consistently me.

Twenty-Five.

"This very day God has given you victory over Sisera. Isn't God marching before you?" -Judges 4:14

Wow. What a question - "Isn't God marching before You?" It seems like it should be typed in italics because of its sort of sarcastic tone, right?

Deborah from Judges might as well have said, "Of course you were victorious - God was in-charge!"

God knows what You are about to face and how difficult the issue may be, so He made a plan. And all You have to do is ask Him to take over and use His plan to take care of your situation.

So many times, we struggle to part with our own ideas and with our own plans, but if we could only compare the results of following our plans and the results of following God's, we'd see that God's plan is always better. I could see how this may be difficult, though, in that God's plans don't always seem like they'll will be better until the very end.

And that is where trust comes in. Trust is hard sometimes, but if we will trust in God, He'll never let us down...even if it seems like His plan isn't going to work at the moment. He will always come through.

God is smarter than you because He made you and mapped out your life a long time ago. So don't worry so much, and trust in God. His plan is better than yours and always will be.

And when you finally see God's awesome results--victory--thank Him for marching before you!

Twenty-Four.

My prayer Thursday afternoon:

God, thank You for putting me in the place I am. I couldn't imagine being anywhere or doing anything else. Thank You for a group of passionate students that I get to meet up with twice a week and make cool music with. But God, thank You even more than that for making us realize that it's not about the cool music, but that we can use our skill and passion to create energetic and inviting moments of worship each week. Thank You for not sitting back each week and just soaking up our song, but for stirring up our hearts and filling the room with Your presence. You are good! I want You, and I need You. I am desperate for Your touch. Come into my heart and give me peace and joy. That's all I ask and nothing more. I don't care what this relationship can get me now, but I only care that I have You. I sincerely welcome You into my heart, that I can lead people where I've been and where I am--with You...where love is never-ending. Thanks, God!



Open Up the Sky -Jonathan Stockstill

Our beloved Father
Please come down and meet us
We are waiting for Your touch
Open up the heavens, shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love

We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You

Our beloved Jesus
We just want to see You in the glory of Your light
Earthly things don't matter
They just fade and shatter

We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You

Here we go, let's go to the Throne
The place that we belong, right into His arms

We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won't be satisfied at all

Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessings, we want You
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You

Twenty-Three.

Well...here it is...another blog.

I know, right? It's been forever.

So, I've nearly completed my Junior year. Praise the Lord! I'm so ready for the summer. Cutting out the whole school part of life is a definite blessing. Too bad it's only short-term.

I find it funny that while most students are excited to get out of school for more leisure time and to sleep in, when I think about getting out of school I immediately get excited about more time to be at the church and to spend with the pastors and staff there. I could understand if someone told me that I was obsessed or something, but in all reality I'm just always anxious to learn more and I've come to realize that you can always learn something at First Assembly.

So, look out folks because I come with loads of enthusiasm!

Also, be looking forward to some more blogs this summer (I just remembered the thrill of writing long, grammatically proper, yet light-hearted sentences).

Here we go!